Modern Etiquette 101

It’s time for another lesson in Modern Etiquette 101. I’ll share the answers to etiquette questions from several experts interviewed by Condé Nast Publishing.

* Is it ever okay to break up with someone via email? Sure, if you’ve had only a few dates – or if they’re really creepy. That’s according to Michelle Fiordaliso, psychotherapist and coauthor of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Ex. If you’ve dated for more than a month, find your inner backbone and call them to say goodbye. Better yet, break up in person.

* Do you have to RVSP to an eVite? Yes! It’s common courtesy to RSVP to every invitation. That’s according to Stacey Platt, lifestyle management expert and author of What’s a Disorganized Person to Do? She says there’s nothing more depressing than having to call your guests to ask whether they’re coming to your party, especially if it’s a wedding. So, spare them the aggravation - and RSVP.

* A friend constantly overloads your email inbox with jokes and chain letters. How can you get them to stop without being rude? The most painless, tactful solution is to ignore and delete. That’s from Will Schwalbe, coauthor of Send: Why People E-mail So Badly and How to Do It Better. He says that if they ever ask whether you received their emails, blame it on your spam filter – and explain how swamped your inbox is.

* Also: Is it ever okay to write texts or emails on your phone in public? Schwalbe suggests following what he calls the “Crossword Puzzle Rule.” In other words, ask yourself, “Would I pull out a crossword puzzle right now?” If you wouldn’t work on a crossword during a work meeting, at dinner with a friend, or in the grocery store checkout line – don’t type on your phone then, either.

* Is it okay to use Blind Carbon Copy on an email? Yes – but only when you’re sending a group email, and don’t want everyone getting everyone else’s address. Otherwise, using BCC can seem sneaky. If your BCC recipient hits “Reply All,” everybody’s going to know that you used it.